Carl Jung called it the Shadow: the parts of ourselves we’d rather not see. Our hidden fears, flaws, impulses, needs, and shames. The weakness we can’t tolerate in others.
In Self Leadership and parts work, we know the Shadow by another name: the Exiles.
Here’s what happens when you finally turn toward the parts of yourself you’ve been hiding from.
Real resilience isn’t a trait you either have or don’t. It’s the outcome of learning to turn the dials of influence — nine interconnected capacities — from struggle toward strength, from survival toward flourishing.
Leveraging the powers of the mind, body, emotions and especially the heart to lead you back to Self.
I had not one inkling that the final year of my 40s would turn out the way it did. This past year has reshaped both my inner and outer life in ways I could never have anticipated. I hate to admit it, but I was incredibly naïve, and ignorant. The writing was quite literally, on the wall….
As I turned 50 just days ago, I find myself contemplating how this year of horror, trauma, violence, and hatred has fundamentally shifted my identities – as a Jew, an Israeli, a Canadian, a family man, friend and neighbor, and as a professional who tries to bring more heart to the world.
Is Stress Changing Who You Are? It’s highly likely that the toll of chronic stress is silently reshaping you, and without understanding how to manage it, the risks to your wellbeing, family life, and leadership effectiveness are only growing.
I would like to share a model to help explain what might be happening, from a neurophysiological perspective, called the Window of Tolerance.
There are periods when the stress isn’t situational — it’s the world itself that feels destabilizing.
Heart coherence practice isn’t a way of pretending that isn’t true.
It’s a way of not letting the hardness close your heart, erode the warmth and presence that matter most, and alter who you are.
Here’s what it is, what the science shows, and how to practice it.
“The people who have survived trauma teach us about what it is to be human — by teaching us what they’ve lost. And they’ve lost the ability to feel safe enough with another.”
That line from Stephen Porges stopped me cold.
Because I know what that feels like.
And I know what it takes to change it.