A Year of Reckoning and The Call for Love and Courage

Reflections on the Longest Day

I had not one inkling that the final year of my 40s would turn out the way it did. This past year has reshaped both my inner and outer life in ways I could never have anticipated. I hate to admit it, but I was incredibly naïve, and ignorant.

The writing was quite literally, on the wall.

In June 2023, on a nature trail I walk nearly every day with my dog, Charlie, a place I find peace and comfort, I came upon a Swastika graffitied on a retaining wall.

I was planning on cleaning it up myself but my wife encouraged me to call the city and get them involved. I did so, and within ten days or so, all the graffiti, not just the Swastika, was painted over. I was relieved that the city I live in cared enough to take action, and I thought that was the end of it.

I write this now, in September 2024, a time that has always been my New Year. It is the time of the Jewish New Year, the time of my birthday, and now, the time of the one-year anniversary of the October 7^th Massacre in Israel – the place of my birth where most of my close family and some old friends live – a place my soul calls home.

Though I am not a religious Jew, the New Year is a time of deep reflection for me as I consider the year that passed, and whether or not I moved closer to the kind of person I want to be, or further away. Whether I lived my values with a sense of integrity or cowed to fear or succumbed to temptation or laziness. It is a time to be with family and usher in the New Year with grace and joy. This year, that’s going to be a challenge.

October 7^th will forever mark a horrifically tragic and heartbreaking day – a day that terror struck at the heart and soul of the nation of Israel – and the day that antisemitism reared its hideous head with renewed ferocity and intensity, across the globe.

To many of us, it’s still October 7th, the longest day of our lives.

October 7th was a cataclysmic day that changed me. It’s an ongoing transformation, and I’m not clear when or if it will ever end. The deadliest and worst massacre of Jews since the Holocaust. Over three thousand Palestinians (from Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and the civilian population) infiltrated Israel, raping, torturing, mutilating, burning and murdering over 1200 people. Over 360 of them were young people celebrating at the SuperNova Music Festival for peace, love and freedom. Over 250 innocent children, women and men, from babies to Holocaust survivors, were taken to Gaza and held as hostages in cruel conditions – many of them to this day.

There are scenes and stories burned onto the canvas of my mind. When those scenes and sounds repeat, I don’t try to banish them or erase them. Instead, I take a moment to pray for the souls lost, the ones still in captivity (101 are still held hostage including babies), the ones left behind, and the ones doing everything in their power to protect Israel and prevent anything like that from ever happening again.

Learn more about what happened from eye witness accounts: https://www.october7.org/

As I turned 50 just days ago, I find myself contemplating how this year of horror, trauma, violence, and hatred has fundamentally shifted my identities – as a Jew, an Israeli, a Canadian, a family man, friend and neighbor, and as a professional who tries to bring more heart to the world.

I don’t have any answers but now I know that I am no longer Jewish just by birth and tradition – I am Jewish by purpose, and my purpose is clearer now than ever: to take a stand and fight for love, truth, peace and healing. That fight has never felt more daunting or more necessary.

One small action I took was to start wearing my Magen David (Star / Shield of David), as a symbol of my connection and commitment to Israel and the Jewish People. I wear it to bring relief or comfort to Jewish people who may be afraid, and to show any haters that intimidation and harassment won’t stop every one of us, even if we are afraid. And believe me, I am afraid.

Despite the fear and existential angst, I have put my heart into writing some pieces and posts, and offered daily support to many others doing much more with greater clarity, compassion and courage than I, all while resisting the lure to argue with the toxic voices that have risen against us.

Though it surrounds us everywhere, and consumes us, we must not let fear and hate win.

The Reckoning and Awakening to Reality

In the wake of October 7, I have watched in horror and revulsion as the world responded – in many cases with deafening silence, shocking indifference, and even worse, complicity and celebration. It’s hard to reckon with that and the countless demonstrations of hate and venom and violence, across the world, and where I live – the Greater Toronto Area.

Institutions I blindly believed were sacrosanct, and people I respected and admired, were among them. Even some of my peers and mentors. These are examples of my naivete and ignorance. I thought it would be painfully easy for every one of my contacts to condemn the horrific attack but instead some went on to blame and accuse Israel for its cause.

Consider for example, the simple and vile act of taking down Hostage Posters and throwing them in the garbage (while proudly filming oneself doing it). Who could do such a thing? Apparently, a lot of people and it sickens me.

Especially frightening and frustrating has been the level of hypocrisy, double standards, whataboutism, and the absence of moral clarity among people and institutions I once trusted. While they claim to stand for human rights, justice, and peace, their actions – or lack thereof – tell a very different story. I have seen them remain silent or worse, justify unspeakable acts of terror and hate when the victims are Jewish. As if somehow, we deserve it. Moral virtue, it seems, has become malleable, bent to fit narratives of convenience rather than truth and humanity.

What was also astonishing to me was learning that the rise of radicalism wasn’t confined to the Middle East – it’s been a growing, festering, global cancer for decades. Again, I was totally ignorant and I didn’t want to believe it. From Europe to North America, terror has found sympathetic ears, useful or intentional idiots, and supportive voices in places where ignorance, fear, and cowardice reign.

I have been shocked so many times in the past 12 months, that I no longer say, “nothing can surprise me anymore”. Though I thought we’d seen the worst, I understand now, it can always get worse.

One of the shocking discoveries was that much of academia in the West has been infected with an ideology that teaches our children to hate the very countries and cultures that have given them freedom. Under the guise of anti-colonialism, and the oppressor/oppressed narrative, schools and universities now push an agenda that shames Western values and glorifies the very forces that threaten our peace.

Shame is being used as a tool to deter anyone who dares speak up against radicalism, twisting legitimate fear into accusations of racism. It is a tool of control, a reversal of responsibility that leaves us vulnerable.

Our youth are being indoctrinated into believing that to fight for Western values, to defend freedom, is somehow wrong. They do not see that they are being used as pawns in a much larger game – a game of destruction, led by those who seek to break down our societies from within. It’s hard to witness and accept how effective they’ve been.

If I would have said any of this just over one year ago, I would have been labeled some conspiracy theorist, and a racist. Today, I just have to say I’m a Jew, and I’ll be labeled much worse and possibly attacked and threatened. Every day now, there are more and more cases of vile antisemitic hate crimes. The courageous people who use their voices and platforms for peace get death threats to themselves and their families on a regular basis.

Consider the chant heard over and over, and what it really means: “from the river to the sea…” – it means the land of Israel will be free of Jews. It is not a call for freedom and equal rights – which Israel offers to all her citizens – it is a call for death. Intifada Revolution – part of another chant – not a heroic and virtuous uprising but a call for violence, death and destruction, to Jews.

 

We must recognize the danger our society is in, and not look away.

This is one lesson I embraced early on – to look – to bear witness – to hold space in my heart and soul for those who’ve suffered and are suffering, and to offer compassion and support as much and as often as I can. And yes, this includes all people suffering, not only Jews or Israelis. I have only on rare occasion, experienced this kind of compassion from outside the Jewish Community (and I’ll never forget it). But mostly, I experience apathy, sometimes contempt, and sometimes worse.

A simple, recent example – I was in conversation with a former client, someone who had much gratitude for me in the past due to the work we did together. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few years. After some pleasantries, he encouraged me to share how I was truly doing. I hesitated but decided to open up, expressing how this year has been especially painful for me, given everything happening in Israel and with the rise of antisemitism. There was an awkward silence.

I was taken aback when instead of asking about my wellbeing or the safety of my family, or offering any hint of empathy or compassion, his only question was whether I agreed with the Israeli government. I can’t say it felt like a punch in the gut – it was more like a sinking feeling – and I began to feel sick. Not just from the deflection but the sheer lack of heart and humanity in that moment – an example of how empathy and compassion seem to be lost in today’s world.

This was not an isolated experience – though I keep my suffering to myself most of the time, people regularly drop anti-Zionist comments, they finger-point, they judge, they parrot what they hear on the news (don’t get me started on the media), and simply have no heart for anything Israel or Jewish. Which, saddens me and reinforces my old protective habits of isolation and withdrawal.

From Cowardice to Courage

The truth is clear – whether extremists commit atrocities of the sickest proportions, angry racist mobs protest, intimidate and establish encampments, local aspiring terrorists shoot at or throw Molotov cocktails at synagogues and schools, or twisted individuals standing in places of authority and power insidiously indoctrinate our children, there is no justification for the public’s silence – none.

Sadly, I understand more and more each day, how the Holocaust could have happened.

To those who know it’s wrong but stay silent, who choose the fleeting path of least resistance: this is cowardice, plain and simple. There’s no time for sugar-coating anymore.

The world is on fire, and fear of discomfort is fanning the flames – the discomfort of being judged, disliked, unfriended, unemployed, or exiled. The discomfort and pain of fear itself. If you know the truth, if you see the reality of what is happening, and you know it’s wrong and you wouldn’t want that happening to you or the people you care about, you have a moral obligation to speak up. It’s not easy, not one bit, but it’s what we must do.

This is not just about protecting Jews or defending Israel. It is about standing for truth, for human dignity, and for the values that unite us and also protect us against ideologies bent on annihilating us.

At a time like this, moral clarity and virtue are not luxuries – they are necessities. To see the world as it is and to speak the truth, regardless of how uncomfortable or unpopular it may be, is a moral imperative, and it takes courage and resilience.

Now is the time to grow, to educate ourselves, and to embrace a conscious, intentional approach to life. Wisdom is power – we need to collectively raise our level of consciousness and seek the truth needed to dispel ignorance and to fight against the forces that are dividing and destroying us. Over the past year, I’ve sadly come to learn of similar horrors across the globe but never get the attention they deserve.

Beacons of Light

All this said, I am ready to contradict myself and share a bit of light and hope. During this time, I have seen incredible acts of love and courage, on a regular basis. Every time someone with or without a large audience speaks up. Every time a Jewish student goes to school. Every time a visibly religious Jew walks the streets or goes to work. Every time a non-Jewish person speaks up and stands up for the Jewish community. Every time a peaceful rally or vigil is held and people maintain their dignity, composure and compassion. So many more examples have warmed my heart and inspired me. I won’t name names because the people I admire wouldn’t want that – but there have been so many courageous and loving beacons of light who I’ve witnessed take a stand for what’s right – some on a daily basis, others maybe just once but the effect is the same. It inspires and nurtures everyone.

This came out recently, and it deeply moved me, I hope it moves you as well.

https://youtu.be/BQxXfJ3hV-I?si=VjPA84KBWmkgWBhc

Where are we now?

The path to peace and security remains elusive because of choices made by those who continue to perpetuate violence. Just days away from October 7, 2024, Israel is still at war with Hamas, and preventing another, planned massacre from Hezbollah in the North. They are fighting enemies on all fronts, with Iran at the epicenter, vowing to destroy Israel, then America, and then the rest of the West. Just minutes ago, Iran directly and indiscriminately attacked Israel again, with 181 ballistic missiles. And, sadly, there was a terror shooting in Tel-Aviv Yaffo, killing 7, injuring many more. This just one day before the New Year holy days of Rosh Hashana.

It should be made very clear that the greatest shame is that every loss of life and every bit of destruction could have been prevented had the Palestinians, and all Iranian Regime proxies attacking Israel, put down their arms and released the hostages on October 8th. Full stop.

So how do we deal? How do we lead ourselves? What is our vision for the future?

Though we have an absence of true moral, spiritual and political leadership in Canada, we can find the answers are already within us: love, compassion, integrity, responsibility, courage. These are the values that can guide us back to peace, back to a world where we can flourish together. It is entirely within our grasp to do so but I fear most would not believe it or be willing to embrace it. This is the greatest shame and saddest or most pathetic paradox.

We must build our resilience and reject fear as a tool of control. We must learn to confront fear and its discomforts, and choose a path steeped in humanity’s most cherished values. We must not allow ourselves to be manipulated by those who thrive on division, hatred and destruction.

Though I’ve lived with fear and anxiety my entire life, I refuse to allow it to dictate all my actions. I admit, sometimes fear wins but I do the inner work needed to come back to my heart, and choose to reclaim my source of courage – love.

It’s time to hold our dignity firmly, to stand tall in the face of adversity, and to choose the harder path – the path of love and truth – the path of true humanity.

I am entering my 50s with a renewed sense of purpose, and I vow to continue working toward a world with more love, where truth is honored, and a world where all of us can live with dignity and peace.

I ask all of you, whether Jewish or not, to stand with us. Let us refuse to be cowed by hatred and fear. Let us rise above the madness and choose love. For in the end, it is love – coupled with wisdom, responsibility, and courage – that we need most, and that will ultimately help us create the future we want to build.

Shana Tova – Praying for peace, security, love, healing, the return of all the hostages, the end to all wars and the start of humanity flourishing.

Am Yisrael Chai

ONE DAY

Though produced and recorded about 6 years ago, I’ve come back to this song and video many times over the past year. It touches my heart and soul and reminds me of the peaceful and loving coexistence that so many of us have aspired to. 3000 Israelis, strangers to one another, got together to learn this song in one day – in three languages – English, Hebrew and Arabic.

To me, when I think of One Day, it’s easy to imagine ‘one day in the future’, as some sort of wish. I think of it this way – there is only One Day – today. That’s all there ever is – this one day we are living now. It reminds me to live authentically and heartfully right now. I hope it inspires you to do the same.