You walk into the room prepared. You’ve done the work, you know your material, you have something real to contribute. And then it happens — someone starts talking, or makes one quiet remark, and something in you just… goes.
When someone’s energy, their certainty, their one quiet remark made you go small and quiet — why it’s not just about you, and what it takes to stay yourself.
For a long time, the people around me thought I was doing fine. From most angles, my life looked stable — even successful.
Inside, I had a word for what was actually happening. A word I made up, because no existing word quite covered it.
Depranxed.
I had not one inkling that the final year of my 40s would turn out the way it did. This past year has reshaped both my inner and outer life in ways I could never have anticipated. I hate to admit it, but I was incredibly naïve, and ignorant. The writing was quite literally, on the wall….
As I turned 50 just days ago, I find myself contemplating how this year of horror, trauma, violence, and hatred has fundamentally shifted my identities – as a Jew, an Israeli, a Canadian, a family man, friend and neighbor, and as a professional who tries to bring more heart to the world.
I don’t use the word love much with my executive clients. Not because it isn’t present in the room — it is, in almost every session.
But most of the people I work with would visibly flinch at it. This piece is for them.
And for anyone who has ever sensed that something essential is missing from corporate culture, and how they lead — but couldn’t quite name what it was.